Corporate Division
Licensed Therapist
Uh huh. And how does that make you feel?
Tuition: $6,400 or 24 easy payments of $289.
A 16-week clinical program preparing cats for private-practice talk therapy. Students develop the core therapist skills: nodding, asking 'and why do you think that is,' and charging $280 per session.
Licensure is granted by Whiskerworks, which is sufficient for any client who doesn't look too closely.
What You'll Learn
- ›Maintain eye contact for 50 minutes without blinking
- ›Repeat what the client just said, but slower
- ›Offer interpretations that are both accurate and useless
- ›Bill insurance under CPT code 90834 with a straight face
- ›End a session precisely 3 minutes early every time
- ›Decline to become their friend
Program Syllabus
One chair. One stool. One plant. One clock the client cannot see.
The upright-ear position. The slow blink. The pause.
'So what I'm hearing is...' — for anything, forever.
CBT, DBT, ACT, and 'I Just Purr At Them' (JIPAT).
SOAP notes. Also physical SOAP, which we sell to you separately.
The client wants to pet you. You allow it, briefly.
The hardest part of the job.
Fifty minutes. Three silences. One uneaten tissue.
Your Instructor
Dr. Morsel holds an LCSW from a state university and a private-practice license issued by us. She has been in practice for six years. Her waiting room is a window box.
Research Interests: CBT, DBT, napping.
Tuition: $6,400 or 24 easy payments of $289.
Financing through Regional Guaranteed Capital Solutions LLC. APR 9.99%-39.99%. Terms apply.
