Terms of Service

Effective: the day you first visited. Retroactively.

1. Enrollment

Enrollment is open to any cat, of any age, at any level of prior training. Enrollment is not open to non-cats, with the exception of the Therapist program, which also accepts certain dogs, case by case.

2. Tuition

Tuition is published per program and may be paid in full or in 24 easy payments. You will note that the full price and the sum of 24 monthly payments do not match. This is a feature of the program, not an error.

3. Refunds

No refunds are issued under any circumstances. This is explicit. It is printed on our laminated flyers and on every door in Suite 208.

4. Graduation

Graduation is contingent on completion of all weekly modules plus one capstone. Graduates receive a diploma, a lanyard, and a letter of recommendation addressed to an employer of the graduate's choosing. The letter is one sentence.

5. Code of Conduct

Students must not: knock laptops off desks during instruction; bite the instructor (except as taught in Advanced Marksmanship); or enroll in the Blackbook Division without express invitation. The last item is enforced by the Blackbook Division itself.

6. Dispute Resolution

All disputes are resolved in the Suite 208 break room, by Cornelius Whitfield, on a rolling first-come basis. Bring a token of goodwill. A receipt for catnip has been accepted twice.

For binding legal terms, always refer to the Specific Industries umbrella policy at specificindustries.com/terms.