Corporate Division
PowerPoint Mastery
Synergy. Pivoted. Purred.
Tuition: $3,500 or 24 easy payments of $171.
A focused program in enterprise slideware. Graduates author decks of up to 140 slides that, due to their length alone, will never be read.
Training covers Microsoft PowerPoint, Google Slides, and Keynote. We do not teach Canva, which is for people who have given up.
What You'll Learn
- ›Author a 47-slide deck on a topic you do not understand
- ›Use the word 'synergy' at least once per slide
- ›Animate a bar chart so aggressively it stops being a bar chart
- ›Insert a stock photo of a handshake at precisely the right moment
- ›Deliver a deck via screenshare without getting disconnected
- ›Close with 'Questions?' in a tone that says none
Program Syllabus
Your name. Your title. The date. The quarter. A subtle gradient.
Calibri is fine. Comic Sans is for the footer only.
Fade, wipe, spiral — a spectrum.
Bar, line, pie, radar, and 'chart that looks like a chart.'
Presenting a deck. The cat has no stage fright. Only contempt.
'Q3 Synergy.' 40 slides. Fifteen minutes. No questions taken.
Your Instructor
Director Toffee holds the only dual appointment in the Corporate Division. His most-cited deck, 'Q3 Synergy,' is 47 slides long and has never been presented. He wears a lanyard at all times.
Research Interests: Calibri, one-on-ones, escalation.
Tuition: $3,500 or 24 easy payments of $171.
Financing through Regional Guaranteed Capital Solutions LLC. APR 9.99%-39.99%. Terms apply.
