Academics Division
Sommelier Certification
Nose, palate, disdain.
Tuition: $5,400 or 24 easy payments of $232.
A twelve-week immersion in the noble craft of wine service, taught by Sensei Dumpling, a tuxedo cat who has been to Burgundy once and will not stop bringing it up.
Students develop the essential sommelier skills: swirling, sniffing, holding eye contact, and gently implying the customer does not understand what they ordered.
What You'll Learn
- ›Identify a corked bottle by smell alone (any bottle, really)
- ›Pronounce 'terroir' with appropriate condescension
- ›Pair any food with any wine by simply asserting it works
- ›Execute a tableside decant without knocking over the candle
- ›Recover gracefully when the wine is, in fact, bad
- ›Judge. At all times. Silently.
Program Syllabus
It is large for a reason. Use it.
Cabernet, Pinot, Syrah — and the fourth one, which the faculty keeps forgetting.
Burgundy, Bordeaux, Napa, and 'somewhere in Chile, I think.'
Decanting, pouring, and the correct angle at which to tilt your head.
Red with red; white with white; everything else with confidence.
Identify six wines with a blindfold. The blindfold is optional.
Your Instructor
Sensei Dumpling, a tuxedo cat, completed his Master Sommelier examination on the third attempt. He has been to Burgundy once, in 2018, and references this trip in every class. He refuses to teach rosé.
Research Interests: Burgundy, disdain, oak.
Tuition: $5,400 or 24 easy payments of $232.
Financing through Regional Guaranteed Capital Solutions LLC. APR 9.99%-39.99%. Terms apply.
