Industrial Division
Commercial Blender Certification
Liquify with confidence.
Tuition: $2,900 or 24 easy payments of $149.
A hands-on certification in the operation of commercial-grade blenders — Vitamix, Blendtec, and the one that makes the noise your cat already hates.
Graduates qualify for positions at smoothie bars, juiceries, and the one airport terminal kiosk that will serve anyone who can reach the touchscreen.
What You'll Learn
- ›Assemble a commercial blender without losing the rubber gasket
- ›Identify the 'pulse' setting from the 'explode' setting
- ›Sanitize between uses (required by us)
- ›Calm a cat that hears the blender for the first time, by not being that cat
- ›Diagnose a jammed blade with paws
- ›Garnish a smoothie as if you understand what 'garnish' means
Program Syllabus
Pitcher, base, lid. Always lid.
The noise is not the dangerous part. The blade is.
Why the handle must be clean.
Banana, strawberry, kale — the classic 'what-customers-regret.'
Thirty smoothies in thirty minutes. No casualties.
Make one smoothie perfectly. Drink none of it.
Your Instructor
Chef Paprika runs the Commercial Blender Certification program. She has never actually tasted a smoothie, but she has made thousands. Her kitchen is impeccable. Her apron is white.
Research Interests: Vitamix, pulse, silence.
Tuition: $2,900 or 24 easy payments of $149.
Financing through Regional Guaranteed Capital Solutions LLC. APR 9.99%-39.99%. Terms apply.
